


Finding Solace

by LokiNeedsHugs1031



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternative Perspective, Angel Gabriel (Supernatural), Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Crying, Crying Gabriel, Crying Sam Winchester, Emotional Hurt, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Episode: s12e01 Keep Calm and Carry On, Established Gabriel/Sam Winchester, Fluff and Hurt/Comfort, Gabriel Lives, Gabriel Loves Sam Winchester, Hurt Gabriel, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Mild Hurt/Comfort, Mutual Masturbation, Protective Gabriel, Protective Sam Winchester, Romance, Sabriel - Freeform, Sam Winchester Loves Gabriel, Sam-Centric, Trickster Gabriel, alternative of season 12 premiere, season 12
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-15
Updated: 2017-04-15
Packaged: 2018-10-19 04:03:11
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,313
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10631799
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LokiNeedsHugs1031/pseuds/LokiNeedsHugs1031
Summary: An alternative season 12 premiere. Dean is returned by Amara unharmed. Dean gets what he wants. But what about Sam?





	

**Author's Note:**

> I found a piece of fan art of Sam hugging Gabe that says "I missed you" so this was born ;) Title is because of Hozier, usually how it works haha

            It was a whirlwind of emotions, that was one thing for sure, when Dean returned. He had not become the bomb that they had all intended him to be. So little was spoken, Dean gathering Sam close, and Sam squeezing him tightly, eyes burning. But what surprised him, well, no, didn’t surprise him really, was how he reacted to Cas. He pulled the angel into his embrace and held tight, and Cas had made a yelping and crying sound Sam had never heard. So foreign it actually brought tears to his eyes.

            He and Cas had been sitting at the bottom of the stairs, seated at the war table, both their heads in their hands. Grieving. And then with the loud creaking of the bunker door, there Dean was, that stupid smirk on his face that made Sam want to punch and hug him all at the same time. After he and Cas’ initially hugged, barely fourty-five minutes of ‘thank chuck we aren’t all dead’ Cas and Dean disappeared into his room. It hadn’t been subtle, because Dean was tugging by one hand.

            Sam rolled his eyes nearly out of his head when he heard a soft moan from across the hall, “Idiots.” he mumbled, slamming his own bedroom door.

            He was mulling over the words of Chuck a few days before. How he couldn’t do this, or couldn’t do that. But what could he do now? Now that he was obviously not dead and at full capacity? Sam wouldn’t admit it out loud, certainly not in front of Dean, but hearing Chuck say he was underpowered was a blow. That he couldn’t bring any of the other archangels back. He’d had a thrill churn in his stomach at the thought of a certain someone being returned. Having Lucifer in the bunker had been so traumatic he’d wished for Gabriel’s presence. He’d been a touchstone before the cage. Before all of it. He’d been grounding and comforting. And he’d only wished to have him there while Lucifer possessed Cas’ sweet face.

            With a long, lonely sigh he slumped down onto the edge of his bed, slipping his face into his hands with a tired groan. Dean had someone, he wasn’t mad about it, nor was he jealous, well, maybe a little.

            He huffed loudly and scratched at his scalp. He was tired. And yes, lonely, his heart aching a little, his brain exhausted as he processed the last few months. He was elated that Cas was safe, Dean was safe, and they were together. Finally, after all their bullshit, Cas and Dean had obviously worked it out and admitted they loved each other. If the moaning was any indication.

            The soft fluttering of something, had Sam lurching upwards, and a startled gasp escaping his lips.

            His eyes widened like blown saucers at the looming figure suddenly in his room, blocking out the light, “G-Gabe?”

            He gave a halfhearted wink, shoulder slumping, hands out as if in complacency, “Hey there kiddo.”

            Gabriel. Gabriel, archangel of fuckery, trickster, Loki.

            “So guess what?” he smirked, but his golden, honey wheat eyes were wet, “I’m not dead…guess he felt I was worth something.”

            “Chuck…” Sam whispered, still staring dumbly.

            “I know I’m probably the last person you wanna see after all that crap with Kali…your brother but…I-I didn’t have anywhere else to go and…”

            Sam had launched himself off the bed, and pulled, tugged, lifted the smaller man into his arms. His breath left him as if he had been punched, breathing in the man in his arms, “Gabe?”

            “Yeah, Sammich, it’s me,” Gabriel spoke hushed against Sam’s neck, not really given much choice given their position.

            Sam’s heart lurched when Gabriel threw his arms up around Sam’s shoulders, pulling himself up and burrowing his face into the space of his shoulder and neck.

            “You were dead,” Sam whimpered.

            Their time together was flashing like lightening through his mind. Their secret time together, hidden from Dean, NEVER revealed, even after his death. Not to Cas, not to Dean, not to anyone. And as the charred remains of Gabriel’s wings clung at Sam’s heart, he held him tighter, pressing lips to his temple without hesitation.

            “Well, Sammy baby, Dad thought that musta been a crime, cause here I am,” Gabriel was speaking in the most reassuring tone he’d ever heard, “Much as I like this, you wanna put me down?”

            Sam was only minutely aware he had the slighter man a few inches off the ground, “I missed you.”

            Gabriel exhaled roughly, face falling farther forward until his lips were just below Sam’s ear, and his lips were then pressing against the thin flesh he found, “I thought, maybe you wouldn’t wanna see me.”

            Eyes still clenched shut, he shook his head, maneuvering them both to the edge of the bed, “I don’t care what happened before. With Kali…why you confronted Lucifer…I just…I can’t…your wings were burnt…on the ground…and I couldn’t say anything. It hurt…so much I-I…”

            “Shhh, tiny moose, I’m here now,” he kissed Sam’s cheek, lingering there long enough to earn him a trembling whine, “So your big bro, and my little bro, are currently shacking up. So I’m pretty sure all that ‘let’s keep this secret’ is out the window.”

            Sam wouldn’t let go, even with the signature joking, he only nodded, holding the angel closer, pulling him onto his lap as he sat down on the bed.

            “That’s what I’ve always liked about you sweetheart, you being about five inches taller than me, I feel cradled like a kid,” he snuggled in, swinging his legs over Sam’s lap.

            He moved his hands farther up Gabe’s back and was greeted with a sharp gasp. It was only then that Sam noticed that he wasn’t just holding onto the beautiful nature that was Gabriel’s vessel, there were wings. Impressive wings. Archangel wings.

            “Oh, I-I’m sorry, I-I didn’t see,” Sam stammered, pulling back now to survey the man in his lap, “Why?”

            “So,” Gabriel started with a shrug of his shoulders that had his feathers making another fluttering sound, and he was rolling his eyes, “I’m still getting a grasp on my returned grace and these,” he hitched a thumb behind him, “Are a result of that…they…” he cleared his throat, “They don’t bug you do they? Cause they’re kinda hard to keep hid right now until I’m up to full strength.”

            “No!” Sam snapped, eyes now exploring, “Can I? I mean…”

            A grin split Gabriel’s face, eyes sparkling, and he gave a soft chuckle, “I’ve been dead for quite some time sweetie, yeah you can touch them and I’d only let _you_ do it by the way.”

            Sam wetted his lips and then both hands ran from the tops of his golden wings, that matched his wheat colored eyes and hair.  He threaded through the downy feathers like wispy, soft hair, “Wow,” he was truly at a loss of words, and then searching the eyes that were already hooded with something he couldn’t place and longing, he surged forward and kissed the angel.

            Those lips were as sweet as he remembered them, warm, welcoming, but trembling this time. It had truly been too long and Sam tried so hard to keep the emotion settled in his chest.

            Their kisses evolved fast from chaste to heated, he pressed Gabriel back to the plushness of his mattress, fixing his legs to fall alongside his body, making sure his wings weren’t crushed beneath his weight. When he had Gabe exactly how he wanted him, on his back, panting, eyes fluttering he swallowed roughly, “I missed you, so much, Gabe…”

            Gabe was nodding, cradling Sam’s face with both hands, the tips of his fingers tracing, as if mapping the curves of his face, “I missed you too kiddo, more than you know.” he tugged him forward, capturing his lips, nipping, biting and then soon their tongues were tangling.

            Gabe rolled them until Sam was on his back, the angel was working his own clothes off, “You’re thinking about this too, right honey? This isn’t too fast? It’s been awhile…”

            “No, I need you,” Sam huffed, pulling his own t-shirt off his torso awkwardly, and then his own fingers were working on Gabriel’s pants, “I need you…” he said again, both hands skimming up Gabe’s now naked torso, and then he was flipping them again with the lovely sound of fluttering wings filling the room. He tugged the archangel’s pants down past his hips, thighs, and ankles.

            Slowly.

            Kissing all the way down with deliberate gentleness, he knew this was probably the one and only way to render Gabriel speechless. Now was no different. He tracked his way back up, nipping and sucking flesh, “You’re beautiful,” as he said this, his fingers threaded through the meatiest parts of Gabe’s wings and the angel was suddenly trembling as if he’d been electrocuted, “I’ve never seen these, why, why did you never show me these?”

            “Crazy intimate act, Sammy, that’s why, maybe i-if we’d had had more time, b-before oh fuck!” Gabe gasped, back arching when Sam grazed the tops with his fingertips before plunging fingertips into the base at his spine, every feather poofing out and fluttering, “Sam!”

            For a second, only a second, Sam worried his brother would hear them, but then it was melted away when Gabriel whimpered with a high and begging ‘please’. A rare sound that he was sure only he had witnessed.

            Hands still buried within the feathers, scratching the otherworldly flesh, he kissed his way back up his torso until he met his lips. From there it was a cacophony of moans, whimpers, and groans as Sam lapped at Gabriel’s throat with nips and gentle bites, one hand endlessly threading and kneading the flesh of his wings.

            Sam more or less yelped when Gabe snapped his fingers and they were equally naked, he felt jolted when their pelvises, naked, yes, naked were pressed against one another, “I may be low on mojo kiddo, but I can only take so much. Come on, I need you.” his hands were reaching upward, tangling in Sam’s long hair, tugging firmly enough to cause a delightful sting.

            Without skipping a beat, Sam scrambled to his side table, grappling for lube, even though Gabe wouldn’t remove his eager fingers from framing his face, not allowing their lips to separate. Soon enough Sam had them both slicked up, and slotted together perfectly.

            “Oh fuck, fuck,” Gabe gasped, both wings jutting out sideways with a loud whoosh, knocking over a lamp with a loud crash that neither took notice of.

            Sam knew that Gabe was stronger than him, by miles, but his hands were larger and he took that moment to pin his arms above his head, all the while taking advantage of the exposed flesh of his throat. He kissed and nipped as he stroked them together, emotions beginning to brim and take hold. Because he had this warm body beneath him, someone he’d ached for more than the other probably knew.

            “Sam, Sammy,” Gabe moaned loudly, canting his hips upwards in tandem with Sam’s strokes, “I-I fuck, I’m gonna…”

            “Come on, let go,” Sam murmured against the shell of his ear before latching the lobe between his teeth.

            And then they were both crashing together, with grunts and high pitched keening, a sound Sam forgot existed. A sound he forgot how much he cherished. He would have slumped against the smaller man, but even exhausted, he tugged him sideways so not to crush him.

            They both lay in silence, for a long few seconds. But then to Sam’s horror he felt Gabriel’s chest hitching, bouncing against his own. And then the warm, wet, drops of tears.

            “Hey, hey, Gabe…” he had to pull Gabriel’s hands away from his flushed face, it was more than a challenge but he won. And for the first time ever, Gabe’s honey colored eyes were streaming, red-rimmed and his face was flushed, lips pouting with loss of control.

            “I missed you so much Sammy…a-and,” he gulped, “I never got to say goodbye to you…and…”

            “Shhhh,” Sam cooed, his own eyes burning fiercely, pulling Gabriel up against his chest, hands searching downwards for the discarded blanket, a strong urge to cradle and protect the smaller man.

            “He’s never cared before…why’d he wait so long?” Gabe sobbed, arms finally winding around Sammy’s waist, hiding his face in the crook of Sam’s neck, one leg locking around one of Sam’s.

            “I don’t know,” Sam kissed the top of his head, “Doesn’t matter now…we’re here…together…that’s all that matters.”

            “Look at me, fuck,” Gabriel chuckled through the tears, doing his usual of trying to laugh off seriousness, “Crying like a baby…that’s your job, isn’t it? Big sappy moose…”

            “Gabe, stop it,” Sam scolded gently, his voice low and soft, “I missed you too,” he ran one palm over the expanse of his naked shoulders, up the nape of his neck, before threading fingers through his hair. That earned him a watery whimper, he petted the expands of his wings, very carefully petting the soft down, “So you’re low on batteries…right?”

            Gabriel hiccoughed, trying to hide another tired sob, “Yeah…”

            “Then sleep, I know you have before…we’ve slept together before. You know I’ll keep an eye on you.” he assured, resting a palm to his cheek, one thumb brushing beneath one eyes where he could feel the slickness of tears. His wings fluttered out like stretching limbs before settling over Sam like a large, warm blanket.

            “Love you moose,” Gabriel gulped, muscles finally relaxing as Sam more or less massaged his back and wings.

            Sam chuckled, eyes falling closed in the first semblance of peace, “Love you too. Go to sleep baby.”

           

           

**Author's Note:**

> Please review!


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